Thursday, March 30, 2023

Wizened Ranieri To Unleash Guerrilla Tactics On Liverpool | Leicester City’s Predicted Combative Line-up

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Jon Depp (JD)
Eccentric writer, effervescent blagger. What he lacks in cheekbones, he makes up by being cheeky. The footballing Jack Sparrow pompously navigating the high-waves of journalism. 2015 International Football Blogging Award Finalist, the pin-up boy of The 4th Official.

Consider a Mister A and a Mister G having a conversation over a game of chess. Mister A is a self-made man, dogged, determined to win at all costs. Mister G, however, is clever, someone who simply wins more frequently. Mister A, finally fed up, relents, and ask Mister G to tell him his secret. “How do you always win?”, Mister A inquires. To which, Mister G without batting an eyelid, offers,”You make it easy for me to, by doing all the hard work, and I send you along your way. The trick is to keep you entertained, by giving away just enough bits of tart to keep you hungry for more. You will be under the illusion that you’re taking those tarts off of me, because you’re better, scarier, and I am meek. It’s a con where the victim thinks you are the victim, till he chokes on his hamartia, or as signified here by blueberry tarts. Essentially, the more controlled control you let you let your victim have, the more he believes, on the face of it that he’s in control of the aforementioned tarts, or the pastry shop for that matter, for all I care.”

“Tell me more,” Mister A, in a tone half demanding and half-scandalised.

Mister G, the least he can do, he thinks, as he already plots the checkmate move 5 steps ahead in his mind, obliges, “consider the Native Indians – proud, buccaneering and brave. The American frontiersmen, initially, let them have their vast lands, but controlled the boundaries. The bigger the area, more misplaced is their sense of security, and wider were their scope of observation. Play your platitudes, learn their tricks, find out what their motivations are, and consequently, their weakness. Let them play into their own debts of judgement and resources, encroach them, surreptitiously, in the dark, by the knowledge they unknowingly imparted, and then strike.”

This was a re-imagined conversation between Avi and Jake Green from Guy Ritchie’s unfairly-berated venture, Revolver, to elucidate what wizened old Italian, Claudio Ranieri would be plotting against the Juergen Klopp’s head-strong charges. While Jason Statham, playing Mister Green, looked uncanny with the head of hair, this line of tactic may be everything but out of place in a game where Liverpool are out to set the precedent in their first home game of the season at Anfield.

Here’s what T4O’s JD, believes the Leicester City line-up would be.


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