Friday, August 19, 2022

Liverpool FC 5 – Hull City 1 | 3 Delights And 3 Duds From The Demolition At Castle Anfield

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Jon Depp (JD)
Eccentric writer, effervescent blagger. What he lacks in cheekbones, he makes up by being cheeky. The footballing Jack Sparrow pompously navigating the high-waves of journalism. 2015 International Football Blogging Award Finalist, the pin-up boy of The 4th Official.

Liverpool 5 – Hull City 1

  • Lallana (17’minutes),
  • Milner (30’minutes pen, 71’minutes pen),
  • Mané (36’minutes),
  • Coutinho (52’minutes)
  • Elmohamady (Dismissed at 29’minutes),
  • Meyler (51’minutes)

The Delights

#1 James Milner

James Milner would himself concede that he’s one of the most unfancied stars in the Liverpool ranks, if not the most. There’s nothing quite about him that holds you to the edge of the seat, but as the newer fans begin to realise, as seasoned supporters already know, that 11 superstars do not make a team.

Two goals for the boring vice-captain of Liverpool Football Club, showed nerves of steel to beat David Marshall twice from the spot. In addition to that, he seems to be holding the monopoly of the left-hand side of Liverpool’s flanks, to the surprise and the delight of hardened critics. Humble pie for you, you, and all of you!

#2 Adam Lallana

Another one of those players who is quietening fans with a mouthful of mashed humble pie, is Adam Lallana. Universally labelled as a dog chasing his tail, this man is now central to Liverpool’s early chase of their title bid.

A key figure, involved in 3 of the 5 goals, Adam Lallana’s turn for Sadio mane’s assist has made us feel vicariously filthy.

#3 Phil Coutinho

Lil’ Phil Coutinho is turning it up full time. Played an inspirational part in orchestrating the first and the second goal, and pulled out the proverbial rabbit out of the hat with the 4th, which swooped into the top left-hand corner of the goal at the Kop End, which spiking dopamine levels, leaving rug rats and nonagenarians, collectively erect. What a player Liverpool have in their ranks, an absolute world beater if he keeps on going on week on week.

The Duds

#1 Andrew Robertson

The young Scot had an absolutely torrid time. The floating Bobby Firmino and Sadio Mane did the double act on him from both way: from the outside going in and from the inside going out, leaving the Liverpool target from this summer wondering what could have been had the move come to fruition. This match is going to taste bitter for a very long time.

#2 Ahmed Elmohamady

It was split-second decision that cost Hull City the entirety of the game. Ahmed Elmohamady’s reflexes were put to the ultimate test as Phil Coutinho’s teed-up effort was coming at him at the rate of knots and towards goal, only for his angled arm to consciously deflect it away from it.

Not like Hull City had any foothold in the match, but having gone down to 10 men, it helped Liverpool along with their impression of a footballing landslide.

#3 Tom Huddlestone

Tom Huddlestone suffered an existential crisis in the ninety-two minutes of football that was played at Anfield. The midfield controller had his purpose and joy sucked out of him. Someone throw a copy of Spinoza’s Principia Philosophiae Cartesianae to save him of his existential dread!

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