Monday, August 15, 2022

An EASY 3 STEP FIX For Mourinho’s Pogbook Pro|How Man United Can Get The Best Out Of Pogba

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Jon Depp (JD)
Eccentric writer, effervescent blagger. What he lacks in cheekbones, he makes up by being cheeky. The footballing Jack Sparrow pompously navigating the high-waves of journalism. 2015 International Football Blogging Award Finalist, the pin-up boy of The 4th Official.

Shoddy, shoddy, Man United. Another match, another embarrassment, from who would be would-be title contenders. Goals from Etienne Capoue, Juan Zuniga, Troy Deeney resigned the lumbering giants of English game with their first loss to Watford in 30 years. Not since 1986 have the Hornets stung so indiscriminately, compounding the collective misery with a back to back to back loss. The costliest player in world football, Paul Pogba, barring a shot that hit the bar was, again, painfully, below-par.

Now, I can empathise with this issue. You could do. Imagine saving up for a considerable period of time, enough to spend on a fancy Mac Book Pro with Retina Display feature, which costs a bomb. Well, not literally ‘a bomb’, as we reckon a bomb would come for less overlay. Regardless, consider the device signed, sealed and delivered to your doorstep, from when on you, savagely rip through the cardboard packing, proceed to assemble it in a huff. But once you do, you realise, it isn’t working as well as it should. Which is to say, you’d done everything, you think you ought to, but the device just won’t start.

T4O would advise Jose Mourinho to pick up the manual/user guide that came with Paul Pogba, the one that’s lying somewhere astray with the cardboard packaging. In any case, here’s the brief summary.

#1 Go Easy On The Multitasking

You know what happens when you overclock your PC? Yes, the RAM [memory space] croacks up. When your PC is worth $151 million, you’d be forgiven to believe that, that shouldn’t be a problem, well, considering that it should be state-of-the-art, and what not.

Therein lies the problem – Paul Pogba is under the illusion that he’s the best footballer in the world, the footballing equivalent of a Swiss Army knife, capable of all the wonders of the modern game. In his head, there are processes that are running that tells him, ”go on, then, those are only 4 men there, you can run right through them, VIEIRA, HECK, VIDAL COULD ‘AV DUNNIT!” Or something in the lines of, “go, on, look around, set the tempo, if your old mate Andrea [Pirlo] can do it, so can you!”.

Jose, you need to pull him aside, and tell him, ”stop doing what you’re doing, and focus on doing what you do best, the rest will follow.” It’s really that simple.

#2 Have You Tried Plugging in The Power Cable?

Paul Pogba was Paul Pogba in Juventus, not solely by the virtue of him being Paul Pogba. No. There was a small, teensy-weensy matter of Claudio Marchisio, and Andrea Pirlo doing all the dirty work behind him, to give him the privileged freedom, of running at defences with reckless abandon, like a bowling ball crashing into narrow-headed pins. I bet, that’s how he saw defences then, bowling pins, in an alley, set up for him to go and tumble.

ROTTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - SEPTEMBER 15:  Paul Pogba of Manchester United reacts during the UEFA Europa League Group A match between Feyenoord and Manchester United FC at Feijenoord Stadion on September 15, 2016 in Rotterdam, .  (Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images)
ROTTERDAM, NETHERLANDS – SEPTEMBER 15: Paul Pogba of Manchester United reacts during the UEFA Europa League Group A match between Feyenoord and Manchester United FC at Feijenoord Stadion on September 15, 2016 in Rotterdam, . (Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images)

But what is a bowling ball without the slingshot mechanism of the arm that feeds it its power?

#3 Maybe, The System Setup Is All Wrong?

Have you rebooted that PC and didn’t know which options to tick, in the process? Paul Scholes came out, earlier this week, right after United’s faux pas at Feyenoord, that  Paul Pogba, like he did in Juventus, needed to have midfield ‘controllers‘ behind him to take the responsibility of battening down the hatches, in order to control the monopoly of possession.

The answer is rather obvious. Michael Carrick. And maybe, and ironically, since Michael is at the dusk of his career, United will have to throw around more money to find the right kind of players to get the best out of Paul Pogba. That’s how Apple’s product strategy works anyway.

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